Strangers

Being raised in a country where you are told never talk to strangers and more importantly never get into a stranger's car, it's hard to adjust to life here. Let's paint the picture; you are walking home from work and a transit van pulls up next to you and beckons you to climb aboard. In England, you just wouldn't, here however your thinking about this concept as you're sitting in the van of said stranger. As you arrive back home, said stranger says "two hours yes?" and you shrug your shoulders, so he answers for you "yes, two hours!" next thing you know he's outside your house two hours later, and your family says 'he's come to take you!'
'Where?' I replied,
'I don't know just get in!' So you do. The next thing you know your at the strangers house which, by this time you've grown to flnd him rather interesting. As you arrive there is a pre-prepared feast waiting on table and about 4litres of wine to consume.

Strange place man.

Lost in translation

There's nothing more interesting than learning a new language, every day is a new achievement and it breeds a strong vanity free pride when you can start to construct a sentence when only two or three weeks ago you could not communicate with a soul. There are so few people in this village that can speak English and even those that can have never met a native english speaker. This is where the fun starts.

So I am giving my host father a brief lesson in English, now there are so many words that the Georgian people just find hilarious for the sake of being hilarious, such as "pig" and "chicken" why they are funny, I don't know but they create a lot of mirth. More entertainment can be found when you try to teach new words, I teach words everyday to my family here and they repeat those words and the pronunciation is so bad with certain words as they do not have the sounds we have in their own tongue. That's not to say I don't ruin their language.... I do! very much so, and also get laughed at a lot. So we spend many a night sitting round the fire laughing at how useless we are at communicating with each other. However, this is such a great feeling, because I can't understand their jokes so it's an oportunity to laugh... and know what I'm laughing about. haha.

Then I try to teach the days of the week. There's only seven, how hard could that be............... VERY!

My family here now only remember one word and they say it wrong! Monday (which they pronounce Mundi!) It's taking me over a week to find out why this is so funny as no one would tell me what it means, but this means arse in their language, but let it be it's more funny than Monday any way!

However, the icing on the cake has to go to Ala, my co-teacher, who was inquiring about the pronunciation of certain words today. We spend a lot of time teaching each other and just generally improving our accents and understanding of the other's language. However, today, about two minutes before we had the grade 5's she asked me about the word "can't"... and it was genius, I was laughing for about ten minutes of the lesson.

"So you pronounce that c*nt yeah?"
"...... er no, definitely not! I pronounce it carn't" (creasing with laughter at this point)
"So not c*nt then?"
"no.... that means something entirely different ala"
"is this one of those regional words where many people say c*nt but you say can't?"
"many people do say c*nt, but they don't mean can't"
"so I need to change to can't?"
"I strongly advise you do, just incase you need to say to someone 'you can't' as saying 'you c*nt" might just upset people"
"oh! so what does it mean?"
"not everything needs to be translated!"

GENIUS!!!!!!!!

One for the petrol heads: Driving in Georgian Villages!

Age: Can you reach the pedals?..... Here's the keys.

Competency: Who needs a licence anyway

Car of Choice: LADA 1400GL 5speed!
---and why?: I don't think any other car could cope with the roads (See "The Roads")

Seat belts: Who said they have to be tight around you, and surely you don't both need them buckled in one socket is enough for two seats ya! Rock, Paper, Scissors?

The Roads: Gravel, pebbles, stones and cobbles; all loose of course!

The Bridges: Chunks of metal welded together

Tyres: HARD! Very Hard! (See "The Roads")

Drink driving: Make's driving more fun, and what damage can you really do with a LADA 1400GL

The Apex: Because cornering on one side of the road is for wimps!

Side of the Road: The right…. or left….. or middle…. ah all three are taken…. the hard shoulder…. then the harder shoulder….. the hard shoulder on the left…. who cares as long as you get there faster than the car in front (especially if they are the police)

Over Taking: Obvious! do it! get past them and squeeze between two lorries if you have to!

The Handbrake: For the tighter corner!

The Horn: A must have multi purpose tool for all drivers, use to say hello to other drivers or pedestrians, use to express distaste for those less capable drivers, use to squeeze through traffic, announce your presence, to see if it is working, to move chickens, cows, geese, ducks, horses or pigs out of your way, to show that your's is louder than someone else's, to reply to someone else's, to press, to press again, and again, and again… You get the picture…. You need one; they love them!

The Police: Race them it's fun! Now remember the rules. Rev your engine and flash your lights… wait for the siren horn to sound, and your off! Don't let the police beat you though, that's no fun now is it!

How many people can get on a bus: How many people can fit on a bus… or in a car… or even on a bike for that matter… the more the merrier.

Mobile phones: it's good to talk!

Locks: You don't need to lock your car, even in the city. But make sure you lock the glove box you wouldn't want the contents to go missing. It's not like glove boxes are housed in a self contained tin with wheels and an engine, that could be moved with a screw driver (see: "Car of Choice")

Now that you know the dangers make sure you do as the Georgian's do. As conservative driving could get you killed in these parts! We can't have people thinking whilst they are driving!

Peace!

Isolation in a crowded space.

Little room for movement, the heat of bodies, pressed so close together, comfort has long from been an option. Surrounded by people but not a soul to talk to. The smell of dust rising up from the roads, into this temperamental steel can. The sun's rays, beaming through the window and the stale smell of smoke lingering in the air from hours of cigarette consumption. Ahead, the mountains we will soon force this box up. High in altitude, with roads winding through uncharted dusty paths. This road is a dangerous place, every man for himself, and for a place that supposedly cares not about time, these lanes would put any man into a state of disbelief over this statement. Lanes only exist in Tarmac and paint, in reality if you can fit between two lorries, you WILL fit between them. Cars held together with duck-tape, rope and discarded seat belts. They do say you should always use a seatbelt for safety.

Am I happy? More than I have ever been. Break a man down with fear, anticipation, isolation, alien culture, in concept, values and ways of life; he will come out refreshed. I feel enlightened and simultaneously confused; yes let's all overtake this lorry on a blind bend. I love it!

For years, my bubble, fixed strongly in western society has had me mollycoddled. This lifestyle is now incomprehensible, but every second opens my eyes to the wonders of life.

To those who judged my actions; I am beyond crazy for coming here! However, your inhibitions will result in you never experiencing something of such great magnitude.

Life is to be lived, and living is such a precious gift!

Much love x